Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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