i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Green mimosas i think yes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize