Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
