Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
