Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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