let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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