We got so high we made milksteak
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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