Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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