Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
