Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
