Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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