I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He passed out mid-signature
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
