Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
