This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.