having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.