Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?