sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza