i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
