How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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