I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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