i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
