I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I deserve this hangover.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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