He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
