careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
