Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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