i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Mom said you looked used
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Randomize
