I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Drake has all the answers
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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