Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
