I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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