It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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