umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
