If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
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I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
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What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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