you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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