You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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