is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
