You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i will never coherently bang her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
