I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
