How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
