Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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