would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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