just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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