I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
