i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
