he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
