i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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