Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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