So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
