glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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