My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
