Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
