The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
