the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
