So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize