OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We have started to decorate penises.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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