Dual....:-)
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
