youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
