how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Green mimosas i think yes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
