Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
