Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
