Say something about gay babies.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
