We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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