she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
