I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
