But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
