im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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