ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
