Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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