He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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