So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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