Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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