i think i have herpe
just one?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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