My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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